what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
