hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
