Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
