I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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