69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
