apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
