dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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