dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
