I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
