I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
