it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
