i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
