Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
