So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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