it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
