i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
