I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
