Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
