We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
