I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
