I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
