I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
