I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
