I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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