You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
