you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
