I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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