Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize
