when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
