Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
