dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
