"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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