when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
