Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
