I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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