Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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