i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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