i may or may not be watching the land before time
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
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