We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
