Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
