member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
