I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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