JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
