But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Apparently you make a good broom.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
