the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
