I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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