Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
