I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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