he puts the penis in happiness.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
