I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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