Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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